If your ratty gets all scatty 'cos his coat is getting matty
And he's acting kinda batty now he doesn't look so natty
If he starts to get all chatty and to voice pratty demands
Then beware! You've got a bratty tatty ratty on your hands.
If your doe has had a go with all her bro' bucks in a row
And you've seen her face aglow and her belly grow with woe
If she's getting glad and gloating and gargantuous in girth
Then at any time you guess that your grand girl is gonna birth
If your buck has had no luck getting his lazy butt unstuck
And you pluck him from his hammock to a chorus of "You suck!"
If his flaccid furry form is in a squishy slug disguise
Then it's right to get this roly rotund rat some exercise.
Why rats are better than babies
1. You don't have to change poopy nappies on rats and they can be toilet trained from as early as 5 weeks.
2. Rats may not sleep through the night, but they have the sense to not scream their lungs out and wake you (and all the neighbourhood) up too.
3. If you need a break from your rats, you can put them in their cage for a time out.
4. Rats don't need your body for feeding times.
5. Rat cages may be expensive, but they're much cheaper than prams/strollers, cots, basinettes, change tables, high chairs, slings, car capsules, etc.
6. Rats rarely projectile vomit on you.
7. Rats are cute all the time, not just when they're asleep.
8. Rats don't require expensive trendy outfits which will be outgrown within days.
9. You can acquire rat toys for free from recycle bins and kitchen waste.
10. Rats don't grow up to be bratty teenagers.
11. Rats don't need bibs and they clean their faces themselves.
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